In the past, I’ve perhaps been a little too patient in waiting for questions and comments to emerge from the group. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to work on prompting conversations a bit more this year. With that said, I’m wondering what’s on your mind? What would you like us to talk about?
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The #MeToo movement has me thinking about what one article I read called “missing stairs”: people in a community who are known for their tendency to say and/or do hurtful things, but because of their contributions or status in the community, no one wants to “make a fuss” about it. So instead community members pass on warnings to those most vulnerable: “Oh, don’t pay it any mind if Mary makes racist jokes. She’s just too old to know better.” “Bob? Yeah, he likes to flirt with the young girls, but he doesn’t mean anything by it. Just steer clear of him if he bothers you.”
What is the best way for a loving community to deal with such “missing stairs”? How do you honor someone’s contributions and history while holding them fully accountable for hurtful behavior? How do you protect vulnerable members of the community without allowing them to be painted as “the ones who got Mary and Bob in trouble”? Is there a way to create a just reconciliation? And what do we do if that doesn’t work?
Words do make a difference. I notice that both examples referred to the age of the person involved. I would hope that we are never too young or too old to receive a response that could enlighten us. Perhaps we are all in need of learning better ways to express ourselves in the moment. To say nothing can be just as hurtful and harmful to others, and ourselves!
Question: With the on going health issues and struggles we as a family have faced with John (my adult son) I have frequently been amazed and taken aback by the responses of the Christians in my circle as I have shared my prayers and concerns. They responses that prey on my mind fall into two camps. One is the predictable “Give it to God” camp where folks seem to feel that we’ve prayed about this once and should just now leave it to God. It’s like they think I/we don’t have a strong faith because we continue to pray for John’s healing. As John gets worse, not better and I/we are praying for miracles the other camp crops up. These are the folks that believe that miracles in the grand sense stopped happening in Bible times and what we have now is modern medicine and the comfort of Heaven to come. I believe that praying continuously for healing can be appropriate and that asking God for a miracle for my child, granting that it may or may not be His will, is also entirely okay. Thoughts? Ideas about how to respond to these well meaning (I trust) naysayers?